Humor: March 2008 Archives

There is a growing tendency amongst some Twitter users to "tweet" while they drive. I myself have occasionally succumbed to this temptation. Therefore I am posting the following cautionary tale about driving and tweeting.

I originally submitted this (true) story to Chiff & Fipple, where it was published in their July 14th, 2001 newsletter (entitled "Chiff & Fipple to Host 2008 Olympic Games"). Unfortunately it no longer appears to be available, so…

VII. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO SUCK

Dear Dale,

I stumbled across your web site today while seeking (surprise, surprise) a way to reduce the moisture build up in my Burke whistle (it had been great for about six months, but then...). The business card is about ready to be soaped as we speak.

However I thought you might be interested in a new danger I discovered while whistling in traffic the other day. (Whistling in traffic is an old danger). I keep a Clarke whistle in the car's sun visor, and have a habit of pulling it out a red lights or traffic jams--I usually manage to put it back before starting up again. (The Clarke whistle is really good for this, because it's tapered, it's much easier to slide into the visor's pocket very quickly when the light changes.) So last week I'm sitting in traffic, and there's a tune on the CD player I really want to try playing along with, so I pull down the whistle and start to play. All that comes out are squeaks.

"How odd," I think. Moisture seems unlikely, but I give it a big blow anyway. No difference. I turn the whistle around and blow the other way. Still no difference. So I'm sitting there staring at the finger holes, when I see a little ball roll by. I have a moment to wonder how (and why) one of my daughters had managed to stick a ball in a whistle that tapers down at the end, when I noticed that the ball had legs--lots of them.

The next few moments were not pretty. There was a lot of yelling, and waving the whistle violently out of the window, and my daughter in the back seat was extremely confused. It didn't help that the light changed to green just about then as well. All I could think was how normally I suck to clear moisture.

When I got back home, there was no sign of the spider, but the web still remains. It's a tough little thing, and I need to find a stick small and long enough to clear it out.

So next time you pull that whistle out of anything other than a whistle bag--check it first!

Kee Hinckley - Somewhere.Com

Dale writes: I read this account with a combination of the requisite horror and morbid fascination. This is because it is a part of whistle folklore that Clarkes have been known to house spiders. One can only presume it is related to the wooden fipple. In any case, this is the first credible account I've received. Sleep tight.

Next issue, we'll look into the legend that Generation whistles often contain toads.

Oh wait. Wrong kind of tweeting. Never mind.

I get the distinct impression that Link/ is getting hot. Design your own cartoon character so friends can put it in cartoons, or make your own cartoons using characters (and yes, there are plenty of political ones) that others have designed.

The New York Times Washington Post has an amusing article on parents joining face book. I've been through a number of the situations that they mention there. Both of my daughters are my Facebook friends, and some of their friends have friended me as well. On the other hand, my younger daughter has refused to accept my "friend" request on MySpace. the problem with cross-generational "friending" isn't restricted to children complaining about their parents. There is also the problem of parents who would like to keep some of their activities somewhat private from their children. Until Facebook adds support for multiple separate personas, both parents and children have to be careful about what applications and other information they make available to whom.

I really like VisualHub's progress dialog. No "99% done" for 20 minutes. Instead: "Looks like I lied. It will be done when it's done."


Seriously, it may be funny, but at least it's telling the truth. A progress bar that spends 90% of its time in the last 1% is of no use to anyone. It not only doesn't tell me what's going on, it makes me worry that something may have gone wrong. Amusing or not, this is a better approach.